May 2006

Lukewarm: Lacking conviction or enthusiasm; indifferent

May 2006: Lacking conviction or enthusiasm; indifferent

I spent a good hour creating a few different drafts on this. I mainly examined the relationship between Elvis Costello/Fiona Apple, who appeared together this month during a legends concert in comparision to my recent failed relationship that began in May last year. But that was depressing, and giving too much levity to something I'd rather forget about. I'm in a good relationship now. I'm in a good place careerwise. I'm in a good place with my family and friends.

So in other words, I wish I had something to say. I want to be interesting. It's these moments that send me packing mentally
prepping myself to change somehow, someway. It's these moments that send me kicking and scratching trying to free myself from being buried alive in a dolldrums of adulthood. It's these moments that make me want to do something drastic because in all honestly nothing really happened in May.

But then I take a take a breath. Considering I spent a good portion of my life having conviction and enthusiasm, being depressed and poetic, and always looking to be tortured and interesting, maybe May was a step to change and act instead of react, and walk instead of talk. Either way, a month off from all my headcase bullshit won't kill me.